i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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