Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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