I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
