Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
