When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
