New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
