i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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