his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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