i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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