dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He passed out mid-signature
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
