i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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