she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
