I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
