We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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