There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She needs sedatives and a leash
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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