Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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