Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
