thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
