Swine flu. Run for my life!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
