found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
