well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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