The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
