Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
