it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
