I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
