whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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