There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
