final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
