whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
