just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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