Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
