How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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