just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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