You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
