wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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