your thong is hanging out like whoa
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
