Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
