butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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