it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
