I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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