Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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