worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize