Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
