I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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