I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
