brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
