I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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