i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
