I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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