I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
