found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
my poor anus
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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