i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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