this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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