He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
