i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
