I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize