Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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