is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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