he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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