I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
