i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
