Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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