Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize