Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
