If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
