When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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