well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm determined to sit on that face.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
