dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
