How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
