I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We have started to decorate penises.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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